Heisenberg Railways and other tales

PTSD usually refers to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I found a new meaning during the holidays. Post Train Stress Disorder. On the 26th I embarked to the capital of West Pomerania in order to spend some time with my beloved. When I bought the train ticket without standing in line I should have known that something ill was afoot. Alas I deemed it a mere stroke of luck. A few moments later I was kindly informed via public address speaker system that my train is delayed by 110 minutes. I handled it like a Stoic and went out for a cig. While trying not to freeze my fingers off I noticed a honorary guard in military uniform holding lit torches while some gentleman was getting off a train surrounded by a crowd. I connected the facts and watched as Ignatius Paderewski's lookalike gave a speech, the whole shebang, brass band included clogged the entrance to the station and went on with their 92nd anniversary of the Greater Poland Uprising. I started waiting for the next train (due in 2 hours) inside. The band was playing "Gloria in excelis Deo" in the background, walking around I noticed a wino taking a leak by the stairs. In the middle of the Cthulu-spat-on train station. My personal absurdometer went off the scale. I mean, 21st century and all. What the bloody gorramn fuck?!? Then, with some divine inspiration it hit me: Poland quietly, unbeknownst to all developed the worlds first quantum railways. That is the sole reason why we can't know where the damn train is, despite having access to gps systems, internet, cell-phone triangulation, and other state of the art geo-location technologies. Heisenberg's uncertainty principle clearly states that the more we know about where a particle is right now, the less we know about how fast its going and the direction that it's going. The same thing applies to trains. We get the information that it's delayed (and approximately how much delayed it is), but with that information never comes the trains position, as precisely measuring that trait would have catastrophic results - the train could arrive ON TIME or even, Cthulu forbid, early. And that, to quote Dr. Emmet Brown from "Back to the future" would have "disastrous consequences". Like satisfied passengers. Today I got back to Poznań - and another analogy presented itself. Generally matter is made up from a whole lot of nothing. Tons of nothing between atoms. Miles of it between the nucleus and electrons. And so on... That's the precise reason why I could get on a train that was already full in Szczecin and the reason why all along the way passengers kept getting on, but not getting off. Spatial compression. The only quandary is: when one compresses matter, it's density and gravitational pull rise. I have yet to come up with a theory which will explain why the train didn't implode and transform into a black hole which would suck this accursed parody of a country out of existence. Trains and all.

Long night's moon

Full moon on winter solstice. And a total lunar eclipse to boot. If I was into that sort of thing I'd probably consider it some kind of omen.

Monday morning maelstrom of malice

It seems that we've inadvertently rented the other room to a pair of alchemists and/or necromancers. What other reason than dabbling in such arcane professions would there be for overfilling the garbage bin in the kitchen to 250% of its capacity, so that it is now comparable in height and stature to an obese five-year old child, than to construct a garbage-golem. Tough luck, that supply of black candles quintessential to the completion of the creature just doesn't seem to arrive in the mailbox. Why else would there be bay laurel and garlic clogging the kitchen-sink drain, than to keep malicious demons from entering the home. Why it's common knowledge that if you stuff the drain with some of the aforementioned spices and add some yerba grounds it'll keep the nasty drain pipe creeping monsters away. Fo' shizzle. Necromancers. To top it all off the heating bill is 200% compared to November last year. The weather forecast for today is boiling rage with occasional showers of fury. We're gonna hold a tenants council this evening. I will be on my best behavior - that is: I'll keep away from sharp and heavy objects and refrain from screaming at the top of my lungs. I will TRY to refrain from sarcastic, snide and derogatory comments, because even if the tenants being necromancing alchemists can be overlooked, their utter lack of cognitive processes befitting only a lobotomized chihuahua is all too painfully apparent, hence said comments and remarks won't be appreciated and processed anyway. Also it should be dully noted that I didn't think I'd live the day I write such mundane dribble here. On the other hand I have to vent this def-con 1 grade shit somehow. And screaming it out on the street would at best result in a severe case of pneumonia or bronchitis and my sinuses throb enough already as it is.

A large Caribbean please, extra sandy. And hold the hurricanes!

This morning, still half asleep I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Upon groggily shambling in I noticed that it was unusually well-lit for that time of day and wondered whether I'd forgotten to turn off the light last night or something similar. After a while during which my neurons connected with the speed comparable only to that of a glacier I realized that the source of the strange illumination was in fact the morning sun streaming through the window. Yep. You know it's winter when this kind of stuff starts happening. As there is no canned sunlight I think I need some rum. Or a Long Island Iced Tea. Or both.

A slice of life

I love these little winks reality gives you from time to time. Today while waiting for the lights to change on a crosswalk I noticed this guy, who obviously was in a big hurry and decided to run over to the other side, as seemingly there were no cars coming his way. An instant later he almost got hit by a bus. When he noticed it he panicked and just froze in place. It stopped mere inches from him. The name of the bus company printed on the side read: "Carpe diem tours."

Dear Readers,

Just out of curiosity - Do You have a song, track or album, which You associate solely with winter?
For me it's Massive Attack's "100th Window" album and this track in particular.