Monday morning maelstrom of malice

It seems that we've inadvertently rented the other room to a pair of alchemists and/or necromancers. What other reason than dabbling in such arcane professions would there be for overfilling the garbage bin in the kitchen to 250% of its capacity, so that it is now comparable in height and stature to an obese five-year old child, than to construct a garbage-golem. Tough luck, that supply of black candles quintessential to the completion of the creature just doesn't seem to arrive in the mailbox. Why else would there be bay laurel and garlic clogging the kitchen-sink drain, than to keep malicious demons from entering the home. Why it's common knowledge that if you stuff the drain with some of the aforementioned spices and add some yerba grounds it'll keep the nasty drain pipe creeping monsters away. Fo' shizzle. Necromancers. To top it all off the heating bill is 200% compared to November last year. The weather forecast for today is boiling rage with occasional showers of fury. We're gonna hold a tenants council this evening. I will be on my best behavior - that is: I'll keep away from sharp and heavy objects and refrain from screaming at the top of my lungs. I will TRY to refrain from sarcastic, snide and derogatory comments, because even if the tenants being necromancing alchemists can be overlooked, their utter lack of cognitive processes befitting only a lobotomized chihuahua is all too painfully apparent, hence said comments and remarks won't be appreciated and processed anyway. Also it should be dully noted that I didn't think I'd live the day I write such mundane dribble here. On the other hand I have to vent this def-con 1 grade shit somehow. And screaming it out on the street would at best result in a severe case of pneumonia or bronchitis and my sinuses throb enough already as it is.