Heisenberg Railways and other tales

PTSD usually refers to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I found a new meaning during the holidays. Post Train Stress Disorder. On the 26th I embarked to the capital of West Pomerania in order to spend some time with my beloved. When I bought the train ticket without standing in line I should have known that something ill was afoot. Alas I deemed it a mere stroke of luck. A few moments later I was kindly informed via public address speaker system that my train is delayed by 110 minutes. I handled it like a Stoic and went out for a cig. While trying not to freeze my fingers off I noticed a honorary guard in military uniform holding lit torches while some gentleman was getting off a train surrounded by a crowd. I connected the facts and watched as Ignatius Paderewski's lookalike gave a speech, the whole shebang, brass band included clogged the entrance to the station and went on with their 92nd anniversary of the Greater Poland Uprising. I started waiting for the next train (due in 2 hours) inside. The band was playing "Gloria in excelis Deo" in the background, walking around I noticed a wino taking a leak by the stairs. In the middle of the Cthulu-spat-on train station. My personal absurdometer went off the scale. I mean, 21st century and all. What the bloody gorramn fuck?!? Then, with some divine inspiration it hit me: Poland quietly, unbeknownst to all developed the worlds first quantum railways. That is the sole reason why we can't know where the damn train is, despite having access to gps systems, internet, cell-phone triangulation, and other state of the art geo-location technologies. Heisenberg's uncertainty principle clearly states that the more we know about where a particle is right now, the less we know about how fast its going and the direction that it's going. The same thing applies to trains. We get the information that it's delayed (and approximately how much delayed it is), but with that information never comes the trains position, as precisely measuring that trait would have catastrophic results - the train could arrive ON TIME or even, Cthulu forbid, early. And that, to quote Dr. Emmet Brown from "Back to the future" would have "disastrous consequences". Like satisfied passengers. Today I got back to Poznań - and another analogy presented itself. Generally matter is made up from a whole lot of nothing. Tons of nothing between atoms. Miles of it between the nucleus and electrons. And so on... That's the precise reason why I could get on a train that was already full in Szczecin and the reason why all along the way passengers kept getting on, but not getting off. Spatial compression. The only quandary is: when one compresses matter, it's density and gravitational pull rise. I have yet to come up with a theory which will explain why the train didn't implode and transform into a black hole which would suck this accursed parody of a country out of existence. Trains and all.