Dear "patriots" (regardless of your political views), here's a little piece of advice: Next time you want to celebrate Independence Day so vigorously, take that cobblestone you tore out of the street and picked up, and hit yourselves in the head with it as hard as you can. If you're still conscious afterwards, repeat until you fall limply to the ground. With a bit of luck you'll get a cerebral hemorrhage and die, leaving normal people to go about their business. This, contrary to what you may believe (I intentionally didn't use the word "think" because if you did indeed cogitate we wouldn't be having this debacle in the first place) is a highly patriotic act. By sacrificing yourselves you're paving the way for a brighter (as in more enlightened and less idiot-ridden) future of the nation.
I fully support the motion and I am willing to provide the before mentioned cobblestone (or a brick as it seems to be cheaper).
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